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Wednesday, 10 June 2009

The Kakande Ministries : Prophet Samuel Kakande Marries Fifth Wife

Scandal As Pastor Kakande Weds Fifth Time

The Redpepper, Wednesday, 10th June, 2009

- And You Can’t Believe, All This In 5 Years
Pastor Samuel Kakande of the Mulago based Synagogue Church of All Nations has been exposed as a pastor with excessive libido after he recently walked the aisle the fifth time in just 10 years.

The pastor who calls himself a prophet shocked his followers last Sunday when he paraded a cute light skinned Phillipino as his 5th wife and showed pictures of his secret wedding to her in Manila, the capital of the Philippines.

Kakande took many by surprise when he married secretly a saucy Philippino in Manila town, only to introduce her to his followers during the last Sunday service. The lavish wedding took place in one of the prominent churches in the Philippines. The bride has been identified as Popanes Citia, a famous businesswoman in that far eastern country.

The shock is that Kakande has wed for a fifth time contrary to any church’s teaching where an individual can only wed again after the death -and not just divorce- of his or her partner. Last Sunday Kakande paraded his latest catch to his followers after delivering his sermon during the service that ended at about 8pm. The believers jubilated and burst into hymns soon after the controversial pastor had introduced his new catch.

A snoop who attended the service confirmed last night that “After delivering his sermon and anointing his believers with oil purposely to cleanse them of all the evils, the polygamous Kakande requested his believers to stay a little longer”.

It was at this point, according to our snoop that Kakande, clad in a pale gray suit said: “Though the service has ended, please don’t go back home immediately because I have something special to tell you.”
With all eyes glued on the pastor, the believers were dumbfounded when the ushers began showing Kakande’s wedding on the projector.

The believers who, this time couldn’t believe their eyes began shouting Jesus’ name as if he was standing close to the church door. Smiling with blessedness and goodness and smiling ear to ear, Kakande and Citia began strolling around the altar as if they had just taken the vows a few minutes earlier as their pompous wedding was being shown on the screen.

Having watched the video for a few minutes, Kakande requested the ushers to play him Namawa’s love song titled ‘Tambula ndabbe oba ye ggwe gwe nnalonda’ to which the couple danced like caterpillars in love.
Kakande lied that he was tired of being a bachelor. “I was tired of rushing to my home late in the night to prepare supper myself,” Kakande who sounded like he had just fallen in love said. Holding his wife tightly, he said “I decided to marry a foreigner because ‘I don’t want God to curse me for choosing a wife from my congregation’.

Asked why he decided to hold his wedding in a foreign country, Kakande said that his in-laws insisted on having their daughter wed in their presence. He however, assured the congregation that another wedding will be held in the near future. Shouting slogans in praise of Kakande’s suggestion, the believers pledged lots of money and by the end of day, approximately over Shs150M had been pledged.

The pompous pastor cautioned his believers against his fellow pastors whom he said would at any time criticize his ac-tion. “I know many people are going to talk about my wedding especially pastors who have for long been witch hunting me but I request you to pay a deaf ear,” Kakande concluded.

5th time

But our readers who are a little bit old know Kakande has been married many times before and we can confirm this is his fifth wedding! Our eagle eyed snoops can authoritatively confirm to you that the divine honey sucker first married Loyce Kakande and the two have at least two children. The two started the Mulago church together as prophet and prophetess having inherited suspicious powers from Yeboah. But they split over witchcraft accusations. Loyce now lives in London leading a lonely and dejected life.

Kakande then wedded a Congolese in DRC after which the loverbirds flew to Kampala for a romantic lifetime. However, their romance was short-lived after Kakande thorough-sipped the foreigner’s juice for a few years before dropping her.

The adventurous man of God decided to take a ride to Rwanda in 2007 where he spotted, hooked and wedded a beautiful Rwandese babe. He, swiftly like a kingfisher, set on her water-logged marshes.
At their wedding that took place in Rwanda Kakande took 10 Friesian cows on top of Shs170M to meet his flashy bride price.

However, this hurriedly arranged liaison so mistaken to be unconditional love soon faded and the two bitterly broke up last year. Desperate enough for an alternative in life, the preacher sighted another juicy blonde at his healing crusade in Philippines.

The gifted man of God has gone an extra mile of bringing this delicacy here in Uganda for a sexual healing campaign. “It is so surprising how a man of God can thus change women like undies from time to time. This is an expression of too much desire for females which the Bible doesn’t acknowledge as holy,” an expert said last night.

Fellow clergymen are wondering how Kakande could go on a marrying spree when he has not divorced his previous wives or allowed them to first die.

Pastor Kakande Sex Secrets Leak

The Redpepper, Thursday 11, June, 2009

Shocking details of the secret sex life of Pastor Samuel Kakande of the Mulago- based Synagogue of All Nations Church have leaked. And they are such an interesting tale that you shouldn’t miss them.
In 1988 Pastor Samuel Kakande married Loyce and the duo romped like there was no tomorrow. Their sultry nocturnal activities were blessed with two kids, Yeboah and Obiri.

The pair painted the streets of Kampala red and attended parties and social gatherings hand in hand. They loved each other and ran the church together as prophet and prophetess leading sections of the city society to nickname them ‘Romeo and Juliet’.

But as time went on, Loyce started getting hot gossip from family well wishers that Kakande had started to develop a cozy relationship with some of his female followers including married women. And whenever Loyce asked Kakande (in bed) about the reports, the latter would vehemently deny.
Due to the luxury at her disposal, Loyce opted to keep quiet.


More rumours entered Loyce’s ear until one day she nabbed Kakande visiting one Margaret Nantongo, a city business woman whom many suspected of carrying a dangerous infection. Kakande was so upset and one night a strange fire backed by strange voices attacked Nantongo at her home in Ntinda and killed her.

As rumours intensfied Loyce quit Kakande’s home at the Mulago church.
According to Pastor Male who served as Kakande’s deputy for over ten years, Kakande developed bad blood with Loyce over accusations of witchcraft and devil worship.


Loyce grabbed her two kids and ran to the home of one Samuel Ssenyonyi in Kerezia Zone, Makindye.
She also started a church at the Banquet Hall of Hotel Equatoria.Burning with rage Kakande drove to Loyce’s new place and asked for his kids.

Eye witnesses say he nearly cut Loyce into pieces had it not been for the physical intervention of Ssenyonyi and one Ahamada. As the brawl intensified in which furious Kakande was spitting fire as defiant Loyce reiterated her determination to keep the kids, worried local council officials called the police.


Following the disgraceful departure of his mother of two, Kandahar-war-hero Kakande was not ready to sleep in a cold bed. Already tired of Ugandan girls; Kakande ensured his whopper crossed the border.


As luck would have it, his thirsty whopper zeroed- in on one Emily, a very beautiful and well endowed Congolese belle.
The two held a lavish wedding ceremony in Bunia because back in Uganda, he had separated (not divorced) with Loyce. There was fear that Loyce would cause chaos and disrupt the wedding.
After the grand ceremony, the pair came to Uganda and settled in the plush Kampala suburb of Muyenga where they romped and enjoyed sizzling romance.

Misfortune then befell Kakande after the Congolese wife failed to conceive accusing Kakande of firing blanks. In a desperate search for a kid, Kakande even considered encroaching on the sacred territory of Emily’s younger sister they lived with in Muyenga. This was too much for Emily to bear and she ran away.
Consequently, Kakande’s whopper turned into another direction and scooped a water-logged Munyarwanda babe.The two romped until recently when the pair split over sex rumours.
The Pastor’s whopper never felt tired and advised its owner to go farther – a situation that saw Kakande hook and walk down the aisle a pencil-thin Phillipino.


Pastor Solomon Male in an exclusive interview last night said he strongly believes his ex boss has no love but lust. “He is a serial monogamist. He separates, marries and takes them to any church of his preference,” Male said.

He added that maverick Kakande likes foreign women because every one in Uganda knows about his activities and many a father would not let their daughters marry him.
“That Phillipino needs to be informed not to annoy Kakande because when he is bitter, he wields machetes,” warned Male who has championed a war against the evils in the Pentecostal Churches.
Family sources said Kakande seems to have lost the ability to sire babies the reason he spends many hours at church leaving his wives to languish at home alone.

NABBI Kakande n’omugole we okuva mu Phillipines, Citia Popanes.

Bya Musasi Waffe

NABBI Samuel Kakande owa Synagouge Church of all Nations akubye omukazi Omufiripiino empeta n’abeera omukazi owookusatu gw’agattiddwa naye mu bufumbo obutukuvu mu bbanga lya myaka 21.

Yasooka kuwasa Loyce Nana mu 1988 ne bazaala abaana babiri era baamala ebbanga ddene nga babeera bombi. Baali basabira mu kkanisa yaabwe Kubbiri e Mulago era bombi nga babuulizi ba njiri ab’ettutumu.

Baafuna obutakaanya ne baawukana kyokka baakola ekitali kya bulijjo buli omu bwe yavaayo n’atandika okwanika obuziina bwa munne mu lujjudde.

Nana yasooka n’abeera mu b’enganda ze ng’Abalokole bwe bagezaako okumutabaganya ne bba. Bwe byagaana kwe kusalawo okugenda e London gy’ali kati.

Kakande yamala ebbanga nga talina mukazi okutuusa bwe yagenda ku muliraano e Congo gye yaggya mwanamuwala Emily Pendeza n’amukuba empeta era baabagattira Congo.

Bwe yali akomawo n’omugole yaddira mu kitiibwa era abagoberezi be bangi abaakung’aana okumwaniriza. Oluvannyuma omukazi yamwanjula eri abagoberezi be era ne bategeka omukolo okuddamu embaga.

Emily teyazaala mwana ebbanga lye yamala ne Nabbi Kakande era oluvannyuma baayawukana n’abeera yekka.

Waatandika okubaawo oluvvuvuumo nga Kakande bw’alina omukazi Omunyarwanda gwe yali ategeka okuwasa kyokka embaga n’etebaawo.

Ku ntandikwa y’omwezi guno Kakande yawasizza Popanes Citia Omufilipino ng’embaga yabadde mu kibuga Manila eky’omu Phillipines

Mwanamuwala ono yakuguka mu byabulambuzi era ku mbaga eno Kakande teyabadde na waaluganda lwe yenna ng’abooludda lw’omukazi be bokka abaabaddeko.

Bwe yakomyewo yayanjjudde mukazi we mu kkanisa era abagoberezi ne bamusaba okuddamu okutegeka embaga. Mu kaseera katono beetemye ensimbi ezisoba mu bukadde 150. Olunaku embaga eno lw’egenda okubaawo terumanyiddwa.

Wabula gye buvuddeko, Nabbi Kakande yategeeza NewVision bwe yamubuuza lwaki awasa omukazi omulala ate nga bw’abeera akuba ekiragaano alayira okubeera n’omukazi gw’abeera awasa okutuusa okufa. Yategeeza nti tabeera na mukazi asuka mu omu omulundi gumu.

Nagamba nti kyava awasa aba atuuse ku mbeera etamusobozesa kubeera na mukazi we ng’okuwaliriza okubeera naye ng’amanyidde ddala nti tebakaanya era tebalabagana kiyinza okuvaako obulabe oba obutabanguko mu maka.

Kakande agamba nti okuwasa omukazi omulala amala kulemagana ne gwabadde naye noolwekyo tebayinza kugamba nti alina abakazi abasuka mu omu, kubanga abeera n’omukazi omu era bwe batuuka ku butakaanya ng’oyo amuleka ng’afuna omulala era ye takirabamu mutawaana.

Yakkakkasa nga bw’atayinza kuddira mukazi gw’abeera ayawukanye naye kubanga tayagala era takkiririza mu nkola ya kubeera n’abakazi abasuka mu omu mu kiseera ky’ekimu era kino akimannyi nti Bayibuli tekikkiriza.

Published on: Saturday, 13th June, 2009

Inside ‘Prophet’ Kakande’s Church

Written by Michael Mubangizi

Wednesday, 06 August 2008 19:45

Prophet Samuel Kakande of The Synagogue Church of all Nations is not new to controversy.
His claim to cure all ailments including HIV/AIDS is not new.
So is his standoff with the umbrella body of Pentecostal churches that disowned him in 2006.
“Kakande disobeyed the word of God and decided to create his religion. He is not accountable to us. We have a code of conduct that Kakande failed to cope with. Therefore, any criminal actions by him or his followers can only be answered by the Internal Affairs ministry or Police,” Alex Mitala, head of the National Fellowship of Born-Again Pentecostal Christians, (NFBAC) told the press then.

He is known for his ‘blessed water’ that he claims to possess healing power. His followers scramble for it on the first Sunday of every month.
In his church, soda, water and cakes are sold. So are envelopes in which people enclose written problems, names, addresses and tithe.
Kakande’s website features testimonies and medical reports of people who claim to have tested HIV-positive but turned negative after his prayers.
While this has been disputed by some of his former allies, the site carries pictures of people who claim that their sero status has changed.
The inside of the church is like Hollywood, with screens that telecast church proceedings. When Kakande is not present, pre-recorded sermons are telecast.
Throughout the service, money changes hands between waitresses wearing aprons and members of the congregation buying snacks.

Some hymns have kadongo kamu tunes and praise Kakande and the late John Obiri-Yeboah, the founder of the church.
The latter’s son Kojo Nana Obiri-Yeboah is the Ghanaian pastor who was, in 2007, arrested at Entebbe Airport with a shock electric machine.
It was suspected that the machine is used to induce ‘miracles’.
Praises for Kakande are not limited to hymns. They are also reflected in presentations by Sunday school children on TV screens.
Devoid of the usual Sunday school songs and drama, the children’s shows involve carefully crafted statements. One of them describes Kakande as a ‘Professor’ in God’s issues.
“Munno mu nsawo, ye munno ddala”, one kid said, meaning, a generous friend is a friend indeed.
Most testimonies are about healing from Kakande’s prayers. They are carefully selected.
Strangers are not given chance to testify.
“You are not a member of this church, Prophet didn’t pray for you, so what testimony are you going to give? You have no testimony,” said an aide when this reporter tried to register.
Whether Kakande’s church is a cult as some people have suggested is open to debate. The Macmillan Advanced Learners Dictionary defines a cult as, “a religious group, especially one with beliefs that most

people consider strange or dangerous”
Attempts to talk to Kakande failed as his phone was off. A lady who picked his home land line also said he wasn’t at home.
Kakande runs a programme on Radio West every Saturday 10-11:00 p.m. featuring his sermon and testimonies of people he has healed.
Grace Kembabazi who translates Kakande’s sermons from English to Runyankole often gives out her number on air.
This writer called Kembabazi, disguised as an avid listener, and sought clarification on some issues about the church. On sale of items in the church, she said it was worshipers who demanded it as the long service and large number of worshipers makes it difficult to move in and out for refreshments.
Kembabazi also says video recordings of people’s confessions can only be used on TV with their consent. “That is why people leave their mobile numbers,” she said.
Kakande also runs a programme on WBS featuring sermons and testimonies. His website also says the church sells video recordings of people’s testimonies and his sermons.
In a telephone interview, Apostle Alex Mitala, the Overseer of NFBAC, distanced the churches from such practices as confessing sins publicly, dividing people along tribal lines, selling groceries and water in church.
However, Rev. Canon. Aaron Mwesigye, the Provincial Secretary Church of Uganda said it’s okay for people to confess their sins publicly in church “if they are guided by the holy spirit.”

other articles

The Discretion of my kingdom

John Obiri Yeboah spirit and the Pentecostal movement in Uganda

Pastors disown Kakande

Endooliito zirudde mu basumba abalokole

Mutabani wa Nabbi Yeboah aleese bwiino