First Read:
Pastor David Kiganda finds new rib from Zimbabwe after divorce
Benny Hinn and wife remarry
Pastor Kiganda’s fiancé is still a virgin
Publish Date: Mar 12, 2013
Cindy Karonga, is the lady set to
marry pastor David Kiganda. She talked to Samuel Lutwama about
her love life
Tell us about yourself
I am Cindy Karonga from Harere, Zimbabwe.
I prefer to keep to myself. If there is need to talk about something, I do so
because I hate holding grudges. I was taught by my late mother that holding
grudges robs one of their joy. I draw a lot of inspiration from reading the
Bible. I am passionate about winning souls. I went to Oriel
Girls High
School in Harare from S.1 to
S.6 and pursued a degree in hotel management at the University of Zimbabwe.
How did your family shape
you?
I was born and raised in the
loving hands of Mr. and Mrs. Annah Karonga, in a family of one brother and four
sisters. I am the fourth daughter. My mother was a staunch Catholic; she wanted
me to be a nun, but I declined. I went to church just because she insisted that
I go with my siblings. While growing up, my mother was the person I idolised.
She taught me the virtues of being a true African woman; hard work and sexual
purity for my husband. And for that reason, I have kept my purity for my
husband to be and waiting to break my virginity on our wedding day.
How are you exercising no
sex before marriage?
We both agreed that I would not
live with him, until we were joined in holy matrimony. I live with the family
of Samuel Mukasa of Biyinzika Enterprises. Perhaps, that is one of the ways we
are holding on until our wedding day.
You are getting married
to a man whose previous marriage failed, and has five children. How prepared
are you for the challenge?
The good thing about him is that
he told me about his previous marriage and when we met, he started updating me
about the divorce. So, I know I am not marrying a saint, but someone from a
broken marriage. I intend to bring back the sparkle of love in his heart by
doing what the Bible requires me to do as a wife. I will love his children like
never before. Fortunately, we started on a good note with the children.
Tell us about the genesis
of the David-Cindy love affair
We met three years ago at a
leadership conference in South
Africa. After the conference, he introduced
himself to me and we became friends. He later left for Uganda, but we
continued communicating on facebook and e-mail. It was during one of those
correspondences that he expressed his interest in me. I was shocked because I
did not see it coming. I prayed about it till our hearts clicked.
What happened next?
I requested him to visit my
parents in Zimbabwe.
Fortunately, they approved of him and asked him to pay the bride price, which
he did through his sister. In our culture, the ceremony takes place in the
absence of the husband to-be.
Had it ever crossed your
mind that you would marry a man from Uganda?
It never crossed my mind. I
hardly knew Uganda.
When I met him, I got to know more about Uganda. I asked him to give me some
time, during which I researched about his family and ministry on the Internet.
With time I accepted that perhaps, my destiny was tied in Uganda.
What triggered your love
for him?
He is a nice looking man, he
loves to serve the Lord and that was the kind of person I was looking for. And
for that reason, nationality and cultural background did not matter.
How are you going to add
value to his already bruised life?
I intend to shower him with lots
of love. In the church, I think my calling will largely centre on ministering
to people with broken hearts.
How are you going to do
that when you have never gone through similar emotional pain?
I think I was there when I lost
my mother in 2007. Her death changed my life in a big dimension. It was then
that I left for South Africa.
While there, I got saved.
So, when are you tying
the knot?
In April and I am looking forward
to that day.
What massage to do you
have for ladies out there?
Those who are not yet married
should maintain their sexual purity. And those who are married should be committed
and submissive to their husbands. In case of troubles, prayer to God. has no
dust bit for prayer and answers all prayers.
Finally, how do you deal
with issue in your life, do you use your head or your heart?
To be honest with you, I take
long to respond until I feel convinced with the action to take. But to a
big extent I use my heart for more spiritual logic. Matters of the heart draw
from the spiritual logic which directly influences someone’s faith and yet
faith does follow head logic. So as a believer, I use my heart then connect it
to the spiritual dimension through reading the word and then finally pray about
that it.
Ending my marriage is a wakeup
call — Pr. Kiganda
Publish Date: Mar 04, 2013
SATURDAY VISION
In October 2006, a domestic row erupted in the home
of David Kiganda, the senior pastor of Christianity Focus Centre in Mengo,
Kisenyi, when his wife, Hadijja Nasejje, allegedly cheated on him with a man
selling chapattis.
The couple has since separated and for about seven years,
Kiganda has been taking care of their five children as a single parent.
Last week, he told his flock that he had finally found a
partner and would remarry on April 27. Samuel Lutwama and Vicky
Wandawa asked him about his life over the past seven years and the
upcoming wedding.
The Bible teaches reconciliation and forgiveness.
Why are you marrying someone else?
Mathew 19:9 reads:“And I tell you this, whoever divorces his
wife and marries someone else commits adultery, unless his wife has been
unfaithful.” That was Jesus speaking.
The Bible also draws a clear line between forgiveness and
reconciliation. For instance, when Adam and Eve fell short of God’s glory, He
forgave them, but cast them out of paradise and as result, they had to pay for
the consequences of their sins.
Similarly, forgiving my ex-wife’s over indulgence in
adultery is right, but that does not mean I should stay with her.
Reconciliation is a different matter. Although I forgave her, she is suffering
the consequences by losing me.
King David’s adulterous scandal with Uriah’s wife is a case
in point. The Bible tells us that although God forgave David, he paid for the
consequence of his sins by losing the child.
Renowned TV evangelist Benny Hinn will soon renew his
marriage vows with his wife, Suzanne Hinn. Their marriage has been on the
rocks, but they chose to exercise the virtue of forgiveness and reconciliation.
How different is your case from the Hinns?
If Benny Hinn had not forgiven his wife, perhaps his destiny
would be hell, reason being that his wife was not caught in adultery, like
mine. God discourages divorce, but when it comes to adultery, He gave a green
light.
Why the green light for adultery?
I think God knew the dangers of unfaithfulness, such as
infection of sexually transmitted diseases like HIV, having children whose
paternity is not certain and, of course, spiritual downfall.
Adultery causes psychological torture, which strains the
marriage. For instance, if one partner has an extra-marital affair, the other
can pretend, but the real strain will be evident when they engage in sex.
That is when complaints of poor sexual performance will
arise, because the other party is psychologically tortured.
Do you speak from personal experience?
The success of sexual intercourse largely depends on one’s
psychological state. That is why no one first reads scripture before
intercourse.
Once someone’s mind is tortured because of infidelity, this
will be reflected in their sexual performance. Unfortunately, the other partner
may use that (poor sexual performance), as a weapon in case the relationship
fails.
That is why phrases like “he is a poor performer in bed” are
common among couples going through emotional strain. Some people, out of anger
for being cheated on, resort to lethal means. Perhaps that is why there are so
many cases of murder among couples today.
I look at a man who entices a married woman into a sexual
act as a strong competitor, who will prove his sexual prowess to an already emotionally
strained husband.
So, while we have the marital vows of “till death do us
apart”, God also had in mind the problems that come with infidelity. That is
why He gave us the allowance of dissolving an adulterous marriage. But if
someone can tolerate an adulterous spouse, that is a personal right, which is
also acceptable by God.
So, do you think those who forgive and reconcile
with their adulterous spouses are emotionally strong?
That has nothing to do with emotional strength, but one’s
personal traits. Perhaps the English adage puts it well; “one man’s meat is
another man’s poison.” If someone can tolerate an adulterous spouse, it does
not make him stronger than the one who fails.
When I was in school many years ago, we formed a small group
where we shared eats. But there was a boy called Richard, who would spit on his
eats, before he would invite us to eat. Many of us would turn down his offer,
but another boy called Semukutu would take up the offer.
In the same way, there are some people who would readily go
to bed with their adulterous spouses after exercising the mercies of
forgiveness.
But some people think that pastors should lead an
exemplary life of forgiveness…
There is a provision in the Bible that allows forgiveness,
but it is not fair to crucify someone who has failed to walk the walk of
forgiveness, using the Bible as a cover up. I strongly believe that the early
revivalists confused the whole idea of forgiveness. To me, forgiving does not
mean we should continue living together as husband and wife.
Don’t you think your action of remarrying is going
to fuel divorce and separation among believers?
I think dissolving my marriage to an adulterous wife will be
a wake-up call to all women engaging in extra-marital affairs. They will know
that if they commit adultery, their husbands will divorce them.
Letting corrupt people off the hook is one of the factors
fuelling corruption in Uganda.
If all those implicated in corruption scandals are put behind bars, the vice
will reduce.
Like it was in the days of King Xerxes in the book of Esther
1:16-18, elders in the kingdom stood up against the disgraceful action of his
queen. With their influence, she was stripped of her royal robes. In the same
way, my action is intended to eradicate adultery among church leaders.
If my marriage has become a sacrificial lamb so that the
vice can be curbed, let it be. But I would urge the body of Christ to support
me in this operation of weeding adultery out of the church. Whoever is against
my wedding must be siding with those promoting adultery among church leaders.
Tell us about Mrs Kiganda-to-be
Well, She is not a Ugandan, but she knows everything about
my previous marriage and how it was dissolved.
I was advised by some elders in the body of Christ to get a
foreigner so that people would not think that I had cheated on my wife. Most
importantly, by the virtue of our calling as pastors, we father all members of
our churches. So, picking someone from your flock is tantamount to committing
spiritual incest.
In short, the church and the State have no case to
stop your wedding?
I went through the normal procedure of dissolving the
marriage. The High Court cleared me. Perhaps the only issue that can stop a
person are the spiritual laws which are so clear on the subject of adultery.
Public opinion is not an issue.
There are pioneers in all aspects of life. I believe this is
the beginning of an operation to kick adultery out of marriage.
How did your children take the issue of your
remarriage?
They have been very positive about it and it was such an
emotional moment when they met their mother-to-be. We had a special dinner as a
family and they even gave her a bouquet of flowers as a sign of love. I was
moved when they asked her to allow them to be part of our bridal entourage.
How have you been able to parent them in the absence
of their mother?
I have had a good record before my children. None of them
has seen me engaging in inappropriate relationships over the last seven years. So,
when I tabled this issue before them, they all supported me. As a single
parent, I tried to take care of them as best as I could. I waited for seven
years to get a new partner because I wanted them to grow up.
How will you protect your wife-to-be from the
previous scandal?
There is nothing she does not know about me. In fact, before
accepting my proposal, she researched about me and found out that I was a
respectable person. But most importantly, she found out that I was never
implicated in any sexual scandal.
What are some of her special attributes?
We have dated for over a year. I met her while on a
spiritual mission in her country. She is a God loving and spirit-filled person.
She accepted to marry me and love my children as her own. I strongly believe my
church will fall in love with her.
So, your church is fully behind your wedding?
Some time back, some members of our church convened a
special meeting intended to force me to remarry. They even threatened to chase
me out of the church if I did not heed their advice.
Are you not worried about the heart-break you have
caused female church members who were eyeing you?
Well, we shall nurse those broken hearts through counselling
and prayer. Otherwise, life has to go on.
Experts, pastors’ take on adultery
Counsellors
Joseph Musaalo, a marriage counsellor and lecturer at Uganda Christian
University, gives tips on
how to avoid adultery in marriage.
Be open with each other so that you are accountable to each
other. Neither the husband nor the wife can stop other people from admiring
their spouse. Temptation may arise, but it can be overcome with open lines of
communication.
Accept each other. All of us are not perfect and have
undesirable habits, but married couples are encouraged to stick together, even
during hard times. Learning to accept each other is key to a successful
marriage.
Spend quality time together. Have outings often and enjoy
each other’s company because it helps you bond as a couple.
Do not take each other for granted. Care about your
appearance, just like you did when you were still dating.
According to Musaalo, when adultery rears its ugly head in a
marriage, couples should try to identify the cause and seek counselling.
He also urges couples to be positive about the future of
their marriage.
However, Joy Tumwesigye, a counsellor and accounts officer
with Uganda Prisons, says adultery, especially by a woman, makes it hard for a
couple to reunite.
“This is because the man will most likely remain suspicious
of her, and small incidents are likely to spark off fights,” she adds.
Tumwesigye also says on the contrary, when a man is
adulterous, a woman may forgive him for the sake of their children,
culture and influence of the society.
